What to do when the honey is not so sweet after the honeymoon?

One of the things we fail to recognize is the after the honeymoon effect, when the honey is not so sweet. We spend so much time focused on the wedding, then the honeymoon, the moving in together and the setting up of home that we often begin to forget about the excitement we bring to each other. So as time goes on stresses comes out to play whether it’s a new job, a new baby, a new car, the bills, rent/mortgage . . . should I go on? This all has to be delicately balanced with the love in order to keep your relationship afloat.

Too often, long hours at work, the children and the every day stuff mentioned above get in the way of lovemaking and intimacy. We tend to brush it aside. We are too tired, burned out, and we no longer make each other a priority. But your relationship is the foundation of all things to follow and moving lovemaking and pillow talk to the end of the list could be the beginning of the end of your relationship. Part of the problem is we expect our significant other to be all things to us as individuals. We expect them to be our sounding boards, our finance managers, our cheerleaders, our lovers, our homemakers and every thing else. But can you be all things to another person? In other words, “am I enough for you?” The answer is no. You are heading down the road of disaster if you expect one person to fulfill every need that exists for you. We each need an outlet from each other and of ourselves. This could be a hobby, a friend, a place of worship, or perhaps a class where you learn how to be intimate with each other.

Spend time loving each other in ways that allow you sheer enjoyment aside of the “day to day baggage” that wears you down. Here are a few simple tips to incorporate, which may inject a little love when you least expect it.

Tip #1 – Greet each other at home and sit in silence, hugging, holding hands or just laying close to each other for five minutes – this will help you to connect.

Take this a step further and lean fore head to fore head and whisper affirmations of what makes you love the other person so much. “You make me laugh and it makes me so happy.” “You always make me feel so loved” etc.

Tip #2 – Have a ten minute kissing session – where you practice different types of kissing and exploring with each others tongues. It’s very sensual.

Tip #3 - Leave each other notes of love; under the pillow, in the fridge, in their sock draw. Write a sentence or a paragraph from a poem, on scented paper.

Tip #4 – Send your loved one a postcard when you travel, so they know you are still in their thoughts. Try www.touchnote.com, you can take a photo with your smartphone, write and send the post card directly from your phone via this app.

Tip #5 – Surprise your loved one with their favorite dessert, chocolate or cookies wrapped. Who doesn’t love a little something sweet?


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