Why are women so determined to give away what is rightfully yours? Your power, the power to say yes or no the power navigate your life the way you want it the way you see it with no apologies. It makes me sad to know that we have so many tools in our toolbox, yet we are often looking for a man to validate us. Have you thought about how sexy you feel when you where beautiful silk or sexy underwear under your clothes for you? Yes for you not for anyone else. Therefore, it gives you the confidence to be and feel sexy on the outside even if he can’t see it on the inside.
When a man tells calls you honey, baby, and sugar and doesn’t know you, perhaps went one date with you and we fall into the trap of accepting the narrative as the truth, we immediately loose the power. Enjoy the compliment but be sure to let him know how you want the situation should be for you not for him. If a man wants you he wants you, and he won’t take no for an answer. He’ll let you know he is interested in no uncertain terms. So, if he isn’t showing you love, treating you with respect or enhancing what you already possess, why are you in it? Self-esteem, self sabotage and a host of other negative things can come into play here, but I believe we just don’t recognize our power.
We turn the tables complaining that a man is only after one thing, that he “thinks he can come over here and get this” but the reality is we enjoy sex as much as they do. I love what the singer Jill Scott say’s – there’s power in those rolling hills. Why is he in charge of the love making, why is he dictating how, what, where and when? You can take back the power and maneuver the relationship however you want to. If he calls to see you and you really don’t want to see him, it’s ok to say know. You know why, because if a man doesn’t want to do something – he unapologetically doesn’t – it’s as simple as that.
We have a tendency to be in judge and assume what a situation is with our partners instead of just asking the question. This is in all areas, especially in the love area. Remember pillow talk? It’s just as important as the love making. This is an intimate time where you have a relaxed dialogue about anything you want. So why don’t you ask, “how do you feel when I . . .”, “You know I love when you do this to me?” What if we had a three-some, how would you feel? What could I do for you that would rock your world inside or outside the bedroom?
Ask the question and discover how communicating maybe with trepidation at first, how you may have discovered your own secret language between you. He tells me what he needs and I fulfill it. I tell him what I need and he fulfills it too.
What about if you are single you may ask and you still need to be “loved” in the meantime. I endorse the “Plumber”. He’s the guy that comes over and keeps the pipes flowing. Just because I’m not in a committed relationship doesn’t mean I can’t make myself happy until we meet. Having a lover is wonderful thing. Need to quote this song Jill Scott, “Power in them rolling hills”
Looking for joy in all the wrong places is like seeing a ditch and yet still stepping into it. Focusing on what makes you happy will keep the joy in your life. Try it and you’ll see!
You also have the power to be with whomever you wish. Just because someone shows you interest doesn’t mean its right for you or that you have to date them.
We all desire a healthy and loving relationship, yet often we repeat specific actions and when a relationship doesn’t work out, we wonder why.
In reality, we create a pattern of dating the same person with a different name, and if we are getting the same results relationship after relationship we have to question, is there perhaps a little craziness in this?
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’’ Albert Einstein
I love this quote, as it explicitly defines the action above.